Han Guk Mal Mulayo

Yesterday one of our teachers, Chantale, informed us on the busride home that one of her students, a boy, always has his hands down his pants in every minute of every class. Hmm. A little disgusting I would say. But kids are kids and you can't really blame him, can you?

So then I told another teacher about it and he told me the following story:
Another different teacher was grading essays and one of HER students wrote about some operation that his friend was having and how he was scared because he was going to have it too. He didn't know the English name for it, but wrote it in Korean. Upon asking the Korean teachers what this mystery operation was, she encountered quizzical looks. So our counselor, Hye Won, took it upon herself to look it up on the internet. Apparently, both of the little boys were having circumcisions.

I kid you not.

So the first little boy in question was not "byung tae," he was merely inspecting to make sure everything was ok down there. Wouldn't you?!

So as a teacher, I understand that we are not to choose favorites. It is horrendously unfair to the kids and can actually leave you in a bit of trouble with the parents if you show your favor in class and the other kids catch wind of it.

So now I'll announce my 5 top kids, since I know for a fact none of my students nor their parents will ever see this. HaHA!

- Tomas. Tomas was one of the coolest kids I've ever met. He was almost always quiet in class and pretty much never did his homework. So needless to say, he was not exactly prize student material. What made him so great was the fact that he couldn't help but grow on you as his excuses became more and more far-fetched. His knowledge of English cuss and slang words was quite impressive as well. One essay I received from him included the words: "f**k it!", "d**n this farmer"
and "son of a b****h! wake up!" Obscenities, I know, but I can't help it. I would tell the kids to take out whatever book we were going to work in next and he would utter "shet!" And no homework? "Oh teacher is so beautiful and so kind. And I broke my arm and hospital and ...no homework." Like everyday. He is unfortunately a 6th grader and has moved on to the middle school so I won't probably be seeing him ever again. I have my memories though.

- Daniel. Daniel came late into my class after transferring from James' class. I was warned that Daniel was a little..."off." Daniel quickly became one of my favorites in the class that was by far my favorite. It was a lower-level class, which I love because I can act a crazy fool and the kids just eat it UP. First of all, Daniel has miniature bags under his eyes, constantly, making him look like a harried ajassi (read: Korean for middle-aged man) who spent too much time drinking soju the night before rather than sleeping. My fondest memories of Daniel are the constant dance-parties he had with himself. He would constantly stand up at inopportune times and dance around like a little penguin. He completed all of his work, but sat at his desk playing with his pencils and whispering in Korean to himself. One day I came in to start class and tried to move the podium, which was much heavier than usual, which I was suprised to find that the reason was that he shoved himself into a ball in the bottom and was hiding out. He is still at Avalon (my school) so I get to see him a lot, but unfortunately not in class everyday.

(Daniel is on the left in the yellow jersey)

- Jennifer. Jennifer is one of my new students in an upper-level class. I remember hearing about her from James and Scott, who shared a class with her last session. Now she's mine. She along with the other 4 girls in the class, are convinced that Scott and I are getting married. Everyday: "Miss Gacon! When are you and Scott getting married!" I made her a CD of Christmas songs because she loves the ones I played in class and everyday for a week told me how perfect it was. So then she brought me a gift of a box of rice cakes (dok). Not really my bag, but still the gesture was incredibly sweet. But this isn't the only reason I love her. Everyday she has something new and clever and subtly hilarious to say. And she even burned me! One day I was asking them a question and they're thinking so I start giving them hints and reading the sentence in the book so they'll finish and give me the right answer. Or whatever I just said. So Jennifer pipes in:
"Ohhh! Teacher! You can read?!" She is precious and precocious and I love her to death.

(Jennifer is on the very right)

- Ron. Ron is a new student to Avalon and I have him in my "Blossom" class every MWF. He is the youngest student in our school, a mere 2nd grader. And he is seriously about the cutest kid I have ever seen. And everyday he just babbles on in English and asks me questions all the time and is just so sweet I want to take him home with me. Pretty much the first kid that has made me want kids. James has him in his RI class (our lowest level) and agrees that he's a cool little kid. I expect more cuteness to come as our session drags on. No pics yet.

- David, Jun Hyung, Martin, Jack, Sammy, Steve. Not just one kid, I know, but as a group they made quite a comedy troupe. They are typical little boys who throw paper airplanes and shoot rubber bands at each other. They started off the semester pretty uncontrollable and drove me crazy. They just never shut up, which usually I don't mind, but it was all in Korean. Everyday they would mimic me, which I minded only for my lack of experience, but with one talking-to by the counselor of our school, Hye Won and they complete turned around. For awhile they were afraid to talk I think, but then they started up again, only including me in their little jokes, which I think may have been my problem the whole time. One day we're learning "nobody, everybody" and David starts cracking up. Not wanting to miss out on the joke I ask him why he's laughing so much. Apparently, "body" sounds like the word in Korean for pants, "bajee." So "no pants." It amazes me what these kids find funny. They called each other perverts all the time and taught me some Korean swear words. And Sammy, one day, was flipped off by a girl in class which I missed because I was reading along with the story we were reading. So Sammy yells "UHHH! Teacher!!! She f**ked me!" Needless to say I cracked up for about 5 minutes. And to this day, it is my favorite language barrier story. I still see all of these kids although I do not have any of them in class. And they're still cool as hell.

So there you have them, take them or leave them. I prefer to take them.

I love my kids.
My morning classes are "blossom," the lower level, younger kids doing a phonics book. Ridiculous. But i get these crazy awesome little kids that are so cool and funny and give me all this crazy energy for the morning.

Today we had to read about poem about "Lucky Gus," which is to help them with the short "u" sound.

So one little kid, Brent, who is a total little brat but in a whatever sort of way, is like "Oh gus! Hahahahahahaha" and so on. Then something in Korean, and everybody "Hahahahahahahaha". I don't know what's going on.

So he explains to me that "gus" is a slang word in Korean for "penis" (only not in so many words...more like pointing and "boys have"). So I laugh..ok haha. Funny.

Later, he yells "Teacher! Jennifer touch my gus! He is byung tae!"

So some explanation..."Jennifer" is the boy formerly known as "Shrek" who I was so terrified of. Now I get to see him everyday. Why he wants his name to be Jennifer I'll never ever know. He says it more like "Jennipa." Whatever, he's still a little turd but he respects me because of my tattoos.

And "byung tae" is Korean for "pervert." I think it's hilarious when the kids call each other pervert. I have no idea why.

So later we're doing short "e" sound and I'm trying to get them to think of some words and I get "red" and "pen," and another little boy, Dennis, who is about as crazy as they come yells "Teacher! Red pen tea! Red pen tea!" I have no idea what he's talking about...so he changes his pronunciation to "red panty! red panty!" I figured he had no idea what he was saying so I asked him if he knew what that was. "Yes, teacher! Clothes! Everyone has! Brent no panty!" Still not clear...so Dennis, where do you wear them? "Teacher! GUS!"

I love this class, it is one of my favorites. Little kids talking about "ddong" (read: korean for "poop"), panties, perverts, and penises. Maybe it's not funny to you, but at 8 am its pretty fecking hilarious.